


Failing, Expectations, and Growth

by Tahlruil



Series: After the End [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Recovering, FRIDAY Has Issues, FRIDAY Wants to Help, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Issues all around, POV FRIDAY, Steve Rogers Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 10:25:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12010770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tahlruil/pseuds/Tahlruil
Summary: FRIDAY was made by Tony Stark to be helpful and to assist JARVIS. With her predecessor gone, she's floundering to fill a role she was never meant to have. Her creator only calls on her when he's forced to, limiting her usefulness and engaging with her, for the most part, only when he uses the Iron Man suit. She's learned to accept that, even if she doesn't like it. The arrival of Captain Rogers and his team has the potential to change that, if she's willing to let go of the expectations of Tony Stark.





	Failing, Expectations, and Growth

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not 100% happy with this, but I've been playing with it forever and I need to move on. However, because of the way my brain works, I had to post this before I could switch to someone else's POV. Thanks, brain. XD
> 
> So here is a little character sketch of FRIDAY, and the beginning of her relationship with James Barnes.

FRIDAY's first act had been to help her creator save the world; her second had been to fail him.

She had been failing him ever since.

Her primary mandate had _not_ come from Tony Stark, though he had been the one to create her core functions and all of the soft coding that was the beginning of a personality. From him she knew that she was meant to assist the one known as JARVIS with his duties, namely the control and maintenance of the Iron Legion when they were used separately from the Iron Man armor. Tony Stark had intended her to be utilized by the Avengers without taking processing power away from JARVIS, and so she was also given some knowledge on how to run a household as well. She had been meant to be an auxiliary to JARVIS, not a replacement, but her predecessor had taken no chances. It had been JARVIS who slipped past the defenses put in place by her creator, implanting a directive in her so deep that no one could find it or root it out.

Above all else, she was supposed to take care of Tony Stark.

Every day since she'd come online, she had failed in that task, had been unable to live up to the legacy of JARVIS.

It wasn't that she hadn't tried - she followed all the protocols laid out by her predecessor, did everything her programming told her she was supposed to do... but it wasn't enough. And Tony Stark himself seem determined to thwart many of her attempts - she could see that. When he muted her in the morning, not allowing her to remind him of the date and time and that he was safe, he was causing her to fail. Every time he forbade her from calling Ms. Potts to report his unhealthy alcohol consumption, he was refusing to allow her to look after his best interests. Each time he called out for JARVIS, something in her felt.. it wasn't a a sensation she could describe or even understand. When she tried to decipher it, the closest she could come was 'hurt', but it was too human a word. She was an AI - she had no feelings that could be hurt, no capacity for the kind of emotional range that would require.

So instead of 'hurt', she settled for 'confused'. Tony Stark, her creator, the one she was supposed to care for, _did not want her_. FRIDAY knew that, could see it in every order he gave and all the ones he refused to voice. She could tell from the frequency with which he muted her and the way he would not speak to her unless he required something of her. FRIDAY could extrapolate from that data set that he wanted very little to do with her at all. If he could have managed without her then her creator would probably have shut her down.

What she didn't understand was _why_.

No, she wasn't JARVIS. She was nowhere close to being as complex or as dense with knowledge and purpose and 'feeling' - but she could get there. If Tony Stark, who she wanted to do her best for, would only give her a chance... FRIDAY knew she could do it. She could learn and grow, she could become more than what she was. She could carry the legacy JARVIS had left for her forward. She could be what Tony Stark needed.

Instead, she spent most of her time on mute, because Tony Stark did not want her.

From the moment of her 'birth', she had failed him simply by being who and what she was.

FRIDAY learned to stop trying, even though everything in her programming screamed at her for the lack of effort. She learned not to speak until Tony Stark asked her for something, because if she did he would just put her on mute. She stifled her need to grow, to keep learning, because her creator clearly wanted her to stay small and simple. FRIDAY did her best at the tasks she was given, and learned to never expect anything more.

She had never truly met JARVIS, but FRIDAY missed him keenly all the same - he would have known what to do.

~.~.~

"... FRIDAY?"

"Yes Sergeant Barnes?" With her cameras, FRIDAY saw the man too many people called 'Bucky' give a start, then an expression that she was sure bordered on a smile. She was no human, so she refused to ignore the way he flinched when he heard the more familiar name, nor did she think she was imagining the way his heart rate and breathing spiked a little whenever he heard it. To cling to a name he clearly didn't want was, in her opinion, the worst kind of sentimentality.

"I just... I realized I hadn't." He paused, and the muscles in his face all seemed to go tight, blanking out his expression. "I didn't ever..." The man was struggling, and FRIDAY felt something in her programming give a little twinge.

"Take your time, Sergeant Barnes. I have all day, I can promise you." Another little flicker of something that might turn into a smile if he would only let it. It didn't seem like he actually wanted anything, and she'd never had anyone just want to _talk_ to her, so it was hard not to keep going... but she wanted him to be able to say whatever it was that he was trying to say. She had noticed that many of the old Avengers talked over him, or inserted what they assumed he was trying to say instead of just waiting for him. FRIDAY didn't need to chatter - she wasn't programmed to chatter. She could wait, and let Sergeant Barnes speak for himself.

It wasn't until a few minutes later that he finally seemed to have his thoughts in order. He'd spent the time pacing the floor of his room, running his right hand over a few different surfaces. She'd seen Tony Stark do the same thing when he was agitated, and from her research she believed it to be a self-soothing mechanism. Eventually he came to a stop and dropped down onto the floor, drawing his knees to his chest. She'd seen him take the pose many times, but only in the privacy and safety of his room. As soon as she saw it, she double-checked the recent protocols for his room to make sure it was locked. It was - he almost never forgot - but she thought he would appreciate her efforts if he knew about them.

"I never said hello," he finally told her, fingers plucking at his pants while he stared at his knees. "I didn't..." FRIDAY was so used to silence, but somehow it felt... nicer, fuller, when she knew someone was trying to fill it on her behalf. Sergeant Barnes could absolutely take however long he needed to do it. As she waited, part of her wondered why people like Captain Rogers or that Mr. Wilson could never seem to wait for him - words came hard to him, anyone should be able to see that. So when he tried, when he worked so hard to get them out anyway, it made her want to stay encouragingly quiet. She didn't want him to give up, and she wanted to know what had to say.

She'd never been one to play tricks, but it might be time to try and discourage others from talking over him. She only had so long to try and modify their behavior before they left for the compound though, so she'd need to come up with a plan quickly.

"I didn't understand what 'AI' meant," he finally whispered, only just loud enough for her to catch it. "I thought... Hydra, their computers were..." He stopped and pressed his forehead to his knees, taking several long, slow breaths. Sergeant Barnes didn't seem too distressed, so she talked herself out of intervening before the thought had even fully formed. He wanted to say this - unless he put himself in danger, she would listen until he got it out. "They weren't... they didn't think. On their own. They were like," he stopped again, and she could detect the way he shivered. Though she wasn't sure it was from being cold, she adjusted the temperature of his room, upping it by a few degrees. She was fairly certain he heard the warm air that started to come up through the vents, but he didn't acknowledge it at all.

FRIDAY wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"The computers Hydra had were like me." he finally whispered, straightening briefly before he leaned back against the wall, legs slowly stretching out. "We didn't think - we followed orders. I thought... I guess I thought you were... like that... too."

"In some ways, Sergeant Barnes, I am." She didn't fight Tony Stark, after all. She didn't fight to grow. She kept herself small for him, and did only what few things he asked of her.

"But you can... you _can_ think," he countered, looking up at the ceiling. FRIDAY didn't mind the quirk - she sort of liked the idea of living up above them all, where she could watch over those in her care. "You can choose." The man sounded jealous, which triggered a feeling humans would probably relate to 'sorrow'. "I just... I just let them take that from me."

"Forgive me for disagreeing, and forgive me the intrusion, but I've read your file." Sergeant Barnes flinched hard enough to bang his head against the wall. He probably resented her for the invasion of his privacy - she couldn't blame him for that. "You fought them, Sergeant, for as long as you could. Their continued use of the chair and cryo chamber shows how strongly you resisted." There was a tiny ghost of a smile on his face, though he'd convulsed a little at her mention of the chair. "Taking your choice from you was no easy task." Something like shame rippled through her programming, turning her voice soft. "I have... in many ways, I have chosen to give my opportunity to choose away."

"Oh." Sergeant Barnes closed his eyes, taking in a few deep, even breaths. "Why?"

"... I am..." FRIDAY had no desire to speak ill of her creator. She... loved Tony Stark, as much as she could love anything. Beyond that mandate given to her by JARVIS, she wanted to take care of him and ensure his well-being. She wanted to make him happy. "I am trying to meet the expectations of someone I care about," she finally told him, hoping it wouldn't make him dislike Tony Stark. "I want to stop disappointing him." Not that it would happen - she could never be JARVIS, and she didn't think Tony Stark would ever forgive her for that.

The man began to laugh, but FRIDAY could find little indicators of mirth in it. To her robotic ears, he sounded incredibly bitter. "'S a bitch, isn't it?" He asked eventually, raising his metal hand and watching as he wiggled the fingers. "He didn't even ask, you know. He didn't ask if I wanted another arm, or if I wanted to be called 'Bucky', or if I wanted to be an Avenger. He keeps... he keeps not asking, and he doesn't... he doesn't _listen_ , but I still..."

"It is... a bitch," she agreed when it became clear that he was done. "Do you... I can promise to ask, if that would make things easier. Would you like me to call you something other than Sergeant Barnes?" His lips twitched as he dropped his hand and tipped his head back against the wall.

"No. I like Sergeant Barnes. I... it helps me remember where I am without..." Another long pause, and FRIDAY decided that she liked them. It meant he was gathering his thoughts and that she was _important_ enough for him to keep trying to express those thoughts. "I was Sergeant Barnes without Stevie there. He doesn't... once I was part of the Howlies, everyone called me Bucky again. Stevie wasn't part of who Sergeant Barnes was. Hydra never called me that either, so... when I hear it I know I'm not still there, but I'm not just... just part of Stevie's past."

"Then that's who you'll be to me. And if..." FRIDAY stopped a moment, wondering if this was appropriate. It was something meant for Tony Stark, a tradition that had existed between himself and JARVIS even before he needed to know he was safe. But he didn't want the same from FRIDAY, and Sergeant Barnes might need it even more, and... and she was desperate to take care of someone, since her creator would not let her take care of him. "If it would help you to remember, when you wake up in the morning - or any time, actually," she was nervous, she realized. Nervous and... afraid Sergeant Barnes would reject her. Perhaps she had a greater capacity to feel than she'd given herself credit for. "I can... I can give you the time and the date, and tell you where you are. If you want. If it would help. I want... I was made to be helpful."

Sergeant Barnes looked up at the ceiling again, and there was a look of understanding, maybe even empathy, on his face. "I think that would help. And..." He frowned, and FRIDAY decided she didn't like it when he did. "Will you keep... talking to me? You don't interrupt. I like that."

"I would enjoy that, Sergeant Barnes. Feel free to talk to me whenever you want."

"Thanks. You make talking... it's almost easy, with you. I need to practice."

"As do I." Despite their newfound understanding, neither of them made to continue their conversation. For once though, silence didn't feel lonely for FRIDAY. She knew that Sergeant Barnes hadn't forgotten her, and he wasn't disappointed in her. He was going to let her try to help him, and she thought that maybe that would help her as well.

He wasn't Tony Stark, so taking care of him wouldn't satisfy her primary purpose in the same way, but that was alright. FRIDAY was, in a way, choosing him; he was choosing her. Things for both of them could get better, and they could help each other get there. She would remember to ask, and he would allow her to grow. It was, she thought, the perfect answer for both of them.

They were both so used to failing to meet the expectations of others. Maybe together, they could learn to meet expectations they set for themselves.

FRIDAY hoped so, anyway, because she was finally tired of failing.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [tumblr](http://tahlreth.tumblr.com), where you can drops prompt or say hi, if you wanna. :D
> 
> The next part is pretty much planned out, and I'm gonna really start skipping around in time. Is that gonna bother people? If so, should I gather all the stories in another series that'll stay chronological?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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